My child has made me a liar / An apology

Since the moment he was born Trey has made me rethink what I was, what I thought, what I felt, what I said and what I knew. I Call him my little humbler. Everything I said, PC, (thats Pre-child) that I would never do, or I thought was easy to do I have either turned out to do it or it has been the worst nightmare to try to do. You need examples? THEN: I would NEVER give my child a pacifier. It was the lazy Mom's way of just plugging a screaming child with a piece of plastic to keep from having to actually pay attention to your child. When I brought Trey home from the hospital I didn't even have one in the house. NOW: You better believe by the next day I got one (ok more than one). That's one lie. THEN: I would NEVER have a problem getting MY child to sleep through the night you just sleep train them. NOW: Not only could I not get Trey to sleep throught the night I couldn't get him to eat or to nap or to let me put him down or to ...well anything. So sleep training was out of the question when we were all just trying to survive. That's another lie. THEN: I would NEVER have a DVD player in the car. Just talk to the child. I never had a DVD player in the car growing up. That was the time you had to learn to actually talk to people and converse with adults and learn about each other and a DVD player was for the parents who didn't know how to talk to their children. NOW: When we moved to Starke we made a lot of 2 hour round trip rides from Starke to Ft. White and Ft.White back to Starke. We got a DVD player for the car and immediatly got a Backyardigan's DVD. There's another lie. THEN: I would NEVER put my child in one of those "leashes" . My child is not a dog he is a child. I will watch my child and not need to tie him to a string. NOW: Mine just arrived in the mail. We are taking Trey to Busch Gardens and Sea World next weekend and I got to thinking I cant imagine having to walk around all day with your arm in the air, which is what he would have to do while holding our hand. I want freedom from him as much as I want him to have freedom from me. If he wants to stand at the fence and see the monkeys and there is a bench right behind him I can set on the bench and let him stand at the fence all the while he is safely connected to me. I would rather KNOW my child is safe and have someone (like I used to be) look down on me for "tying him to a string" then do what may "look better" to some people and have my child be unsafe or unguarded for 1 second. So to all the Moms or people I may have silently thought "I could do better" or "I would never do it like that" or "I will never do that" I am sorry. I have been taught a lesson by my little humbler. OK more than one lesson and there are many, many, many more to come.